Kissing my husband, holding my 5 yr old tight I cried. Saying "see ya" to my boys was hard but I knew I had to be with Mason. My 5 year old (Dylan) got a chance to put a bear him and daddy bought for Mason in his incubator, and got to hold Masons hand and tell him to stay strong, and that he loved him!
Following my 2 day old in an incubator with a nurse practitioner and 2 assistance in jump suits walking down to the ambulance was more then I could fathom. The nurse practitioner started talking to me about Masons heart defect. Heart defect? Okay that's it I'm PISSED! No one said anything to me about a heart defect. The nurse continued to say "He has 2 small holes in his heart, the cardiologist is going to do an echo cardiogram on Mason when we get to Anchorage." I couldn't believe my ears. I was completely numb from head to toe hearing this for the first time.
In the ambulance the nurse continued to talk to me about Mason but to be honest I was so upset and my mind was racing I wasn't listening to a word she said. I was thinking " Down Syndrome I can handle, but a heart defect? Is this fatal? Am I going to be flying back home alone? I need my husband!"
Loading this small jet the nurse said "Today's your lucky day you get to sit in the princess chair."
She called it a "Princess chair" BC there was more room, and a bigger seat. Is this a joke, oh great the nurse got jokes! I don't want to be here and could care less about a "princess chair"! She was trying to lighten the mood, but I wasn't buying it. The plane was tiny. 2 seats in front of me and Mason on the right side in the incubator. Plane was loud and the 40 minute flight the nurse asked me a million questions that I have answered a million times. I couldn't be more annoyed at this point.
Landed in Anchorage, got in another ambulance and headed to the hospital. I sat in the front this time and the driver said "So what brings you to Anchorage?" I wasn't interested in the small talk. I stared out the window instead of answering him. What kind of question was that anyways!? When we got to the hospital they transferred Mason to another bed. Nurses, doctors, and the people from my flight stood around Mason talking about his "condition" I stood by and watched.
A social worker came, introduced herself and told me to follow her she was going to take me to a "mommy room" I had No idea what that was and could careless. She gave me a key, I opened the door and it looked like a college dorm. A twin size bed, an end table, an Armour with a small TV and a VHS player. I was right down the hall from Mason so I didn't care where I was staying. The nurse had told me to drop in and see Mason anytime I wanted didn't matter what time.
The doctors weren't sure how long we were going to be in Anchorage, could be days, could be weeks was all up to how fast Mason got better. Prayers and my husbands texts and phone calls helped me find the strength to put one foot in front of another. I felt alone in this small room, but knew I wasn't.
No comments:
Post a Comment