"Mrs. Killion the test results for down syndrome came back and...."

           Nursing my little man, rocking him I looked up and saw Masons doctor talking to his nurse, they started walking my way. The doctor didn't speak English well so when she started talking all i heard was " results,fish,and yes" I looked directly at my nurse with a confused look on my face and she repeated her and I heard what she said all to well. The nurse had trouble repeating the doctor, as she took a deep breath and her words slowly came out of her mouth. She said "We got Masons FISH test results back and they came back positive, Mason has Trisomy 21 or known as Down Syndrome."
           I couldn't gather my thoughts my mind was racing. Tears rolling down my face, I held Mason a little tighter to my body, looking at this little man who I loved so much already. The doctor starts talking about Down Syndrome and all the care he will need, I only understood a third of what she was saying I told her I needed a minute. The doctor and nurse turned around. Trying to get it together but I couldn't help but worry about Masons future and couldn't stop the tears. Is he going to live a long life? Are people going to look at him different? Is he going to need to be cared for all his life? Is he ever going to get married? Have kids? Is he going to have health issues that could be fatal?
          I put Mason in his Bassinet, told the nurse I  needed to call my husband. Mike was able to fly to Anchorage with Dylan, they were in a hotel across town when I was delivered this news. I called Mike. He said "Hey sweetie" there was silence. I knew he was going to love his son either way but I couldn't get my mouth to say the words. He said to me "Whats wrong?" He heard me crying. I was able to spit out the words "The results" and he said "Were they positive?" I continued to cry. He figured out the answer to his question on his own. He told me we already talked about the what ifs and we were going to love our child the same. Like always he gave me the strength to get it together. I walked back down to the NICU and continued my talk with the doctor.