Walking through a furniture store, Mason in a stroller and Dylan tagging along: a lady approached me. She was very excited to see me but the only problem was I have never seen her. She acted as if we were best friends in our past, I was confused, she was old enough to be my mother. I looked behind me and thought "Man this lady is excited to see someone in here." She began to walk towards me still excited, Waving, smiling great big and saying "HEEYYYY!!" I then realized she was in fact approaching me. She looked down at Mason and the first thing she said was "He has Downs..." I stared at her waiting to see where this conversation was going. There was a girl trailing behind her and when she got beside the lady, the lady said "This is my daughter." I looked at her and very quickly learned her daughter was born with Down syndrome as well.
The girl born with Down syndrome was 23 years old, not very tall, small, and very friendly. I've never had the chance to get to know someone who was born with Down syndrome so when I do see them I like to watch them. Cant help but be curious how Mason will be when hes older. Does she work? Does she live alone? I like to listen to how she talks. Does she sign? How does she walk? Has she had to see a specialist to help her walk? What medical attention has she needed? I'm aware every child with Down syndrome is different but in alot of ways they are similar. Her mother was very friendly and asking me questions about Mason. Obviously she has more knowledge on Down syndrome then I did as she has a 23 yr old. I tried my hardest not to over load her with questions but before we knew it an hour had gone by. She was impressed with my knowledge of Down syndrome and all that I do for Mason.
In the middle of American Furniture I also learned there is so much I DIDN'T know. Although I have come a long way, I still have quite the road ahead of me.
After spending time talking to her and hearing her daughters journey through school, some troubles they encountered and realizing the stress with therapists, and doctors was going to multiply as he got older. Raising Mason was never going to be EASY. I felt a little discouraged after I left but yet hopeful.
That SAME day (It was the first weekend alone since our soldier deployed so we wanted to stay busy.) We went to a place called Monkey buizness. Its a place for kids to play, climb, and run around. Mason was playing and this little boy Masons age started playing with him. His mom came and sat by me and asked If he was born with Down syndrome. I am asked that question alot and I always wonder what someone would do if I said "No!" ha ha. But my reply was yes and after hearing every negative thing and rude comments from people I get this "Don't waste my time, and ruin my day" kind of attitude. But that attitude quickly faded when she told me she was pregnant, due in a couple weeks and their entire pregnancy the question was "Does he or doesn't he have Down syndrome?"
The question started after her initial blood work came back. As she was talking I could see her emotions taking over. I remember that feeling all too well. She told me she hasn't enjoyed her pregnancy BC its been a roller coaster ride.
Test after test, extra ultrasounds, an endless stream of unanswered questions. I wish there was a magic wand to take away all the worries, questions but theres not. I told her she can ask me anything bc I never had anyone I could pile questions on when I was pregnant.
When your pregnant there are moms everywhere you can ask questions and get answers but not as many women with the experience of carrying a child who could have down syndrome. I didn't even finish saying she could ask me questions before she started question after question. When did I find out? Did I do the new blood work test? Did I do an amniocentesis? What medical attention does Mason require? Was down syndrome hereditary for you? How do you cope?
After answering questions I had to ask one of them myself. Did she do the amniocentesis? Her answer was yes. She had 2 different blood work done, 3 extra ultrasounds and the amniocentesis. She wanted to know. I can respect that bc I also wanted to prepare myself (more so bc we lived in Alaska with limited medical resources.)
When she said 2 blood tests I was confused. Two? She told me they have this NEW test that can detect a DNA from Fatal Cells that have broken down. Some of this DNA crosses the placenta and gets into the mothers bloodstream and the test can look for an excess of material from the fetal chromosome 21. She told me the blood test eliminate the risk of a miscarriage and also have a lower error rate then conventional tests. This new test can be ran about 10 weeks into the pregnancy. While the Amniocentesis is performed between 15 and 20 weeks generally.
Both the amniocentesis and the extra blood test came back negative at a high percentage. I thought "Why is she still worried?" I remember after my 3D ultrasound for a short second I felt relieved bc they were SURE Mason wasn't going to be born with Down syndrome. But that feeling only lasted a short time. I couldn't stop thinking about down syndrome, researching Down syndrome and there was something in me that was saying Down syndrome wasn't going away. Maybe deep inside her even after these tests she felt the same way.
As we were in a deep discussion Mason crawled to me. She stared at him and said "He is SO cute!" I never met someone born with down syndrome, I shouldn't worry so much. She thanked me for taking the time to talk to her. She said she needed someone who has went through the same thing to spill her worries to someone who would understand.
I know the lord works in mysterious ways sometimes but WOW I will never forget that day. Its like he showed me where I have been and where I was headed all in a few hours.
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