When Mason was just a few weeks old a lady asked me alot of questions about my feelings about having a child with Down syndrome. Although I was still coping with the news myself I answered her questions. She informed me she loved to talk to me. Thought I was Masons guardian angel and also added she thought it was odd that some parents choose NOT to talk about their child with Down syndrome. At the time I felt if I didn't talk about and acknowledge Mason having Downs I was ashamed in some way.
Mason is now 15 months old. Although people see a special needs baby I see this little guy who loves and hates the same things as any other baby. A typical run to the store has become something I dread. Not because I'm embarrassed of having Mason because I'm not sure how to shrug off people with their comments and stares.
An older lady approached me with not even so much as a "hi how are ya?" the first thing she said was "Have you hooked up with the Down syndrome association in the Springs?" She said it in this "know it all tone" she continued with "I have a friend her son has downs and he was issued an iPad for free" She carried on talking about this little boy saying things like "He is happy all the time, so sweet. My friend was young just like you she was 19 when she had her baby with downs" I couldn't be more annoyed. When I was approached this way I felt like I was being belittled, like I didn't know anything. Her tone and the way she was going about the conversation made ME feel uncomfortable. No compassion, No privacy, she just kept pushing and pushing. I left her in the middle of her rambling on. I couldn't take it anymore. After putting Mason in his car seat I sat in my car with my head on the stirring wheel crying. It was that very day I learned why some parents choose not to talk about their child with Down syndrome. Not because their embarrassed, or ashamed but because people have a way of making them feel like their doing something wrong, or they dont love their child enough just like this one lady made me feel.
She was over weight and I wasn't approaching her with "Do you know about the plus size clothing store in the Springs??" Nobody is perfect! I couldn't understand why she saw his disability and kept going on it with no point really. Am I going to learn to deal with people like this? Is it ever going to end?
Later on that day Mason had therapy. His therapist has been with us for a year now and could tell something was bothering me. I told her about this lady, how she made me feel. She said "There was this mom with a special needs child, when she was approached she would fire back with I will forgive you for asking if you forgive me for ignoring you." She suggested I use that. We talked for a long time, She made me feel like I wasn't over reacting and basically the lady should mind her own business.
This is a coping process I am trying to deal with because it probably wont change. The older Mason gets the more noticeable his disability is. I couldn't love my little boy more, I'm absolutely proud of his progress, YES I know he is a gift from God (just like all babies) but I also feel I don't need to explain my love for my child at a check out line.
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