Christmas shopping for Mason!

Its that time of year! Christmas! When I used to shop for Dylan  when he was Masons age I would buy the things he loved like musical toys, balls, and Winnie the pooh. But for Mason I learned I was very particular what we bought him. I would read the back of the box and look for the following...

What does this teach him? What are the benefits? What age is this toy for? Typically Mason plays with toys that are the age of 6-12 months but I was looking for the perfect sensory toys, cause and effect toys basically things that he can benefit from.  I was talking to my mom because she wanted to buy him Christmas toys, I told her the things his therapist suggested, things I was looking to buy him and with one reply she said "Can I buy him anything fun or something he would like?" It was then I realized how obsessed I have began to get with Masons Christmas shopping. For the most part I bought him things he can use for therapy (stack able toys, cause and effect toys, and sensory toys) but I did throw in a few things he would like. :)  I think overall Mason liked all his new toys.

(my mom bought this...both fun and beneficial.) 

What no parent wants to hear...

(Dylan a couple days old)

When I was a girl playing with baby dolls and wearing dresses, spending hours in front of the mirror styling my hair different ways, I always dreamed of being a mom to a house full of girls. Things don't always go as planned I learned. A week after my 21st birthday I became a mom to a red hair, green eyed boy, Dylan Michael. I also planned to have 3 or 4 kids close in age but that also didn't go as planned. When Dylan was a couple years old I was ready to have another baby but we struggled to get pregnant. 2 Years later we found I was pregnant and miscarried. A year later when Dylan was 5 I found out I was pregnant with our sweet Mason. 

      The first thing I thought of was..."How is Dylan going to feel after being the only child for 5 years?" He was the center of Mikes and I world. Through out the pregnancy we always bragged Dylan up about how cool being a big brother was going to be and what a great big brother and example he was going to be.

After our first ultrasound my worries TRIPLED. Not only was Dylan not going to be the only child but he is going to be a big brother of a boy with special needs requiring alot of extra attention. Our efforts to make Dylan feel extra special and important was a priority. A week or so before I went into labor I bought some of  Dylan's favorite things to make a "big brother basket" had things like a T-shirt that said "I'm a big brother" a book explaining how important and special a big brother is and so on. 

After I gave birth to Mason, Mike brought Dylan in to the hospital room. Instead of bragging about Mason this...Mason that...We gave Dylan his big brother basket, congratulated Dylan on being a big brother and made the day more about Dylan then Mason. Dylan was very happy.

When we first moved from Alaska to Colorado my time was filled with Doctor appointments, therapies, and getting the hang of things. Unfortunately Dylan was dragged along to the doctor appointments, and was in our house when there was several therapist to work with Mason. Was safe to say Mason was the center of attention only because he HAD to be. It was hard to explain to a 6 year old why all these people were coming to our house just to see Mason. I expressed my concerns to Masons therapist on how Dylan may be feeling and they were very good at making him feel wanted. They would give Dylan hugs, ask Dylan how he was and take a few minutes just for Dylan. 

After we got adjusted and Dylan started Kindergarten I tried to squeeze in All Masons therapy's  and doctors appointments while Dylan was in school so when he came home it was about Dylan and not Mason. Unfortunately it was difficult because Dylan was only in school for 3 hours. 

Mike and I take extra time to do one on one time with Dylan, special fun things that ONLY Dylan can do because Mason is to young. When Mason would learn to do something for example...crawl, we would be happy for Mason but take time to tell Dylan when he first started crawling 

"Dylan we just moved from an apartment to a house and there were cords all over the living room, next thing we know there you were crawling towards those cords for the first time. naughty naughty" Dylan loves to hear stories about himself and would giggle. 

Despite all our efforts it didn't help. A few days ago on my birthday Mike says "Do you know what Dylan told my mom? He told her that we don't love him like we love Mason, we love Mason more." I instantly wanted to talk to Dylan. He can feel the way he feels but I wanted to hear him say it and what made him say it. I thought it would make me feel better if I could talk to him about it. I asked him if he told his grandma that and he replied "yes, bc you do love Mason more then me bc you and dad play with Mason all the time." I could tell he wasn't saying it to be hateful because he told his grandma in private not in anger. I was crushed. I grabbed Dylan told him he was our first love, and we still love him more then ever.

Mike and I went out for my birthday, the minute I got in the car I cried. I never wanted Dylan to feel that way. I felt I tried to do everything I could to make Dylan feel special. I even did things that people thought I was crazy for like having story time with JUST Dylan then reading to Mason in his own room, not having story and prayer time together. 

Talking to Mike he said "I didn't know if I should tell you he said that because that has always been a fear of yours." 

We continued to talk about what it must look like for Dylan. Mason is now doing things at 19 months that Dylan was doing at 6 months, so to Dylan it might look like 19 months of constant bragging and "playtime" (which is more likely therapy time) Other children at 19 months play on their own, walk, talk while Mason still needs constant attention and help. 

We arent sure how to explain to Dylan why Mason needs more attention, goes to the doctor more and has home nurses and therapist constantly at our home. Since my husband told me Dylan felt this way it has been weighing on my heart I have been doing my research and looking for children books that could help Dylan understand better. But for now extra loves and extra prayer.

Step by step

     Everything Mason knows he has been taught. Not just the big things, to say words, or to crawl but the little things how to hold things, how to go from sitting position to his stomach, how to go from standing to sitting. For Dylan he caught on without me showing him as most kids do just needing some encouragement. For Mason I have to show him how to do things from moving his arms, legs repeatedly for him to learn something as simple as getting from the sitting position to getting on his stomach.
      Mason first learned how to get around by doing what we call the "worm." He didn't have the arm strength to hold himself up. After he learned that we were wanting to work on him sitting but he had no interest in it because he learned he couldn't go anywhere from the sitting position. His therapist told me we need to teach him how to go from sitting to laying on his stomach. As he would sit she would put both his hands in front of him and to the side of his body then pulling his legs out from under him. It didn't even take him a week to learn that he could sit AND be mobile it wasn't one way or the other. He would go from sitting to his stomach just the way he was taught his hands would go flat on the floor and to the right on his body everytime. His therapist said to me "Hes like a poster child for a step by step, he does everything in perfect order."
      The next step was to build his muscles to have more control of his body. His therapist said its time to introduce Mason to the stairs. Any parent knows the stairs are a pain because typically kids fall down them. For Mason it was going to be helpful. She started by sitting Mason on the steps to get balance, then put a toy table in front of him teaching him to pull himself up to it by holding his feet flat on the floor and I would hold his hips to help stabilize him. The table played music and was a great encourage.  He caught on quickly. Therapy was over and she told me to continue to work with him on pulling himself up and balance.She said in a few weeks he will have the strength and be ready to climb the stairs.

       His therapist came the following week and asked me how the stairs was going, with a smile I said I have to show you something. I took Mason to the stairs not only did he learn to sit on the step, or pull himself up, I taught him how to CLIMB the steps. I would take his hands, placing them on the step in front of him, then pull one knee up on the step, then the following knee. To encourage Mason I used one of his favorite balls, placing it on next step and when he would get to that step I would throw it on the next step. When Mason showed his therapist he could climb the stairs HE would put the ball on the next step, get to that step then throw the ball on the next step, just as I used to teach him. His therapist is always amazed at how quickly Mason catches on, how hard I push him and his determination. She particularly thought it was cute how he used the ball just as I used the ball to encourage him. She never saw a child do that.
       That day she wanted to work more on Mason pulling himself up to the coffee table, and couch. She taught him by putting his hands on the coffee table then starting with the right foot she put it flat underneath him then grabbed the other foot putting it flat under him and he would pull himself up. Within the next week he would pop up to the couch and coffee table.

       She always compliments me and says "Its you, you work so hard with him and every week he is showing new signs of development and learning so quickly." I always turn the credit around BC I don't know what the next "step" is or the little tricks on how to get him to do the next step. She teaches me everything I know. She teaches me something, I work with him through the week and we are ready for the next step. We make a great team!
      Therapy has been something I don't LOVE but I'm always up for the challenge and of course want and love to see Mason succeed. I tell his therapist I enjoy showing her everything Mason learns in a week time and she says "not as much as I enjoy seeing it."